Today would be the most awful and saddest day to me, as I started my day just to find my Robyn dead by falling off from the balcony! I would never forgive myself of letting this tragedy happened no matter how watchful neither me nor Robyn been all these days. This really tragic!
I watched a football match between my favourite team (Germany) and Austria (Euro 2008)early this morning and letting the sliding door opened. And as usual my baby is always with me around, lighten up my world with her cutest acts and her joyful jokes like a little kid, so very tender of her. And the lastest I with her was after a second half of the match when she off to her favourite sleeping spot. She slept there and once in a while halfly opened her eyes as she peeped on us. And the match ended at about 5 a.m, with Germany won to qualify to the next round. Unbearably opened my eyes and I passed out and sleep in front of the TV.
I woke up at about 6:30am as usual have my shower to get ready to work. Yes I realised Robyn was not around helping me getting ready to work, as usual she does. But I didn't think off anything bad yet. Untill I fill her food, that I just noticed the unusual act , the quiet moment in my heart. I started calling her out and looking up for her at every her favourite spot. No replies and still quiet. Immediately I rushed to the balcony and looking down, that was the dreadfully horrific moment like my world is getting black and gone to see my baby laying down at the 4th floor (the roof) with a pool of blood around her head.... My world is gone as I was flying off blankly and my tears running down terribly.... you know how does it feel if you lose your own child, that is what I felt....
I am heartbreakingly crying right now as I type this..... my baby Robyn will never be back to me or to alive again. I was crying out loud and never feel ashame to cry out my heart as I see my baby Robyn from the balcony at the 20th floor, down there she was not moving anymore... Sorry I just can't type anything more to just get the picture how scared she was when falling from the 20th floor, and how devastatingly she wanted to get up back to the balcony to not falling down to the ground.....
I have to take a day off and will bury her body at my fiancee's home yard later this evening.
May she rest peacefully 'there' and never will she forget about me and anyone who loved her so very much and treated her like their own child. She is only a good kid to me, healthy, smart playful and full of joy. I will miss her all of my life!
She has been in my life since December last year. And will be always in my life in another form of connection.
I watched a football match between my favourite team (Germany) and Austria (Euro 2008)early this morning and letting the sliding door opened. And as usual my baby is always with me around, lighten up my world with her cutest acts and her joyful jokes like a little kid, so very tender of her. And the lastest I with her was after a second half of the match when she off to her favourite sleeping spot. She slept there and once in a while halfly opened her eyes as she peeped on us. And the match ended at about 5 a.m, with Germany won to qualify to the next round. Unbearably opened my eyes and I passed out and sleep in front of the TV.
I woke up at about 6:30am as usual have my shower to get ready to work. Yes I realised Robyn was not around helping me getting ready to work, as usual she does. But I didn't think off anything bad yet. Untill I fill her food, that I just noticed the unusual act , the quiet moment in my heart. I started calling her out and looking up for her at every her favourite spot. No replies and still quiet. Immediately I rushed to the balcony and looking down, that was the dreadfully horrific moment like my world is getting black and gone to see my baby laying down at the 4th floor (the roof) with a pool of blood around her head.... My world is gone as I was flying off blankly and my tears running down terribly.... you know how does it feel if you lose your own child, that is what I felt....
I am heartbreakingly crying right now as I type this..... my baby Robyn will never be back to me or to alive again. I was crying out loud and never feel ashame to cry out my heart as I see my baby Robyn from the balcony at the 20th floor, down there she was not moving anymore... Sorry I just can't type anything more to just get the picture how scared she was when falling from the 20th floor, and how devastatingly she wanted to get up back to the balcony to not falling down to the ground.....
I have to take a day off and will bury her body at my fiancee's home yard later this evening.
May she rest peacefully 'there' and never will she forget about me and anyone who loved her so very much and treated her like their own child. She is only a good kid to me, healthy, smart playful and full of joy. I will miss her all of my life!
She has been in my life since December last year. And will be always in my life in another form of connection.
